1:34pm Watching Casper (the friendly ghost) with Audrey whilst feeding and being slapped in the face by Arthur.

After preschool pick up we went to the park which was really rather ambitious considering how bloody freezing cold it is. The only other people in the park were the man who sits on the grass flying remote controlled helicopters around and a Spanish (or maybe Italian?) Grandma to one of the other kiddies from Audrey’s preschool. Audrey and the little girl instantly teamed up, hurtling around the equipment together.

‘It’s freezing isn’t it?’ I say to Spanish Grandma.

‘Brrrrrrrr!’ She nods and rubs her hands together.

Arthur is crying so we leave the playground to walk around the football field. After a rather bumpy walk through the mud he eventually falls asleep under the weight of the many blankets in his cot.

I would just really really love right now for someone to put me for a lie down with a blanket.

Finally bribed Audrey away from the park with a promise of a visit to the post office to buy a bag of skittles.

Came home, arranged kids in front of Casper (the friendly ghost) Audrey with hot chocolate and half an espresso cup full of skittles and Arthur on his play mat with a chew toy. This left me free for several minutes to stare gormlessly into the fridge contemplating how to entertain them both for the rest of the afternoon.

Sometimes you can be so overwhelmed at having to cope with your children all alone on a sleety January afternoon that it seems that standing at the fridge door squeezing custard from a carton onto a spoon and eating it is really the best thing to do about it.

Audrey yells something down from the lounge about how I have no friends and am all alone and so I put the carton back in the fridge, plop the spoon into the sink and come back upstairs into the lounge wiping the custard from round my mouth saying,

‘No, actually Audrey Mummy has got friends, it’s just that we’re not seeing any of them today.’

‘Nooooo! Casper Mummy!! Casper just wants some friends. He’s all on his own look!!’

‘Oh yes, ahem, I see what you mean. Oh well, maybe he’s going to make some friends soon.’

‘Maybe you could become a ghost Mummy?’


4:51pm Quick feed and telly break before cooking dinner.

We spent the rest of the afternoon playing ‘camping fairies’ which is essentially like every other time we play camping but with wings and wands. We basically have to make a den, all lie down in it, then a monster comes and we have to peyoooowww! it away with our wands, then it’s the morning so we make and eat (imaginary) breakfast in our tent. We repeat this many, many times with variations on the same theme.

It all ended rather sourly with Audrey poking Arthur in the face with a light up snowman. He then vomited some fairly well digested milk on me and the ‘tent’, I got up to take him to the bathroom and Audrey began howling about the game coming to and end and tried to barricade us in. Seeing as my bra was slowly filling with luke warm baby vomit I just physically removed her from the doorway so I could get downstairs and get cleaned up leaving her howling in her room.

She has calmed down and has been bribed downstairs now with the promise of telly and squash.

So telly it is!

We have survived another day.